'But it was satire, your honor'

Perhaps inspired by the New Yorker, a celebrity attempts a light-hearted spoof:

Comedian and actor Andy Dick was arrested today on suspicion of drug possession and sexual battery after police were called to a disturbance outside a restaurant in Murrieta.Police said they arrived at Buffalo Wild Wings on Murrieta Hot Springs Road at about 1:15 a.m. after receiving reports of an intoxicated man urinating outside. They stopped a truck that was leaving the scene and Dick was in the front eat.
According to Murrieta Police Lt. Dennis Vrooman, a 17-year-old girl said 42-year-old Dick had left the restaurant, walked up to her and pulled down her tank top, exposing her breasts. . . .
Vrooman said Dick was "extremely intoxicated" and that police found marijuana and antianxiety Xanax medication in his pockets.

See? The Xanax gives it away. The comedian was obviously engaging in a parody of the behavior of celebrity perpetual rehab failures like Robert Downey Jr. and Danny Bonaduce. Just a harmless joke, and I'm sure at his trial, Dick will deliver the punchline: "Whaddya mean, she's only 17? She looked like at least a 38 to me!"

Just another reminder (as if such a reminder was needed) of why celebrities are so much smarter and more virtuous than ordinary Americans.