[The single young man] is putting off traditional markers of adulthood -- one wife, two kids, three bathrooms -- not because he's immature but because he's angry. He's angry because he thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging. He's angry because he thinks that the culture disses all things male. He's angry because he thinks that marriage these days is a raw deal for men.He's also wrong. Marriage is a great deal for men, much better than being single, provided you get the right woman. The whole point of dating is to find that one woman. But young men are so damned superficial and selfish nowadays, and caught in a passive-aggressive loop, alternating between callous womanizing and self-pity.
Good women are much easier to find than good men. Over the years in Washington, I'd meet nice young single women and think, "Wow, I really ought to try to introduce her to a nice guy." And then I'd realize, "Wait a minute -- this is Washington, DC. There are no nice guys here."
Guys, let me give you a clue: Your low self-esteem is poisoning the well. You figure that any girl who actually likes you must be a desperate loser. So you ignore or disparage the women who are actually available, while chasing after women who hate you. You are only interested in super-beautiful women, because having a super-beautiful woman validates your own attractiveness. And yet you become angry at her demand that you bring something to the table to validate her.
Do you see the self-defeating vicious cycle you're setting up for yourself? Try this: Just forget about looks. Hang out with some fat chicks and try to learn to enjoy women as human beings, rather than as status symbols or as a means to an end. Learn to take pleasure in being liked by a woman. And to recycle an old hippie-mystic phrase from 40 years ago: Be in the now.