I'm probably not supposed to notice this, but...

by Smitty (h/t Insty)

Are we moving into a new stage in the struggle for liberty?

We already knew that vast swaths the media were utterly useless propaganda organs. The Charles Johnson or whoever would break the story of rank deceit by somebody in possession of public trust.

Consider, though:

• Giles and O'Keefe had to pose as people engaging in criminal activity and use a spy camera to expose a worse problem. Now, Andrew Breitbart is trying to use the possibility of further video releases to pressure the US Attorney General into...doing an AG's job?
• We have a break-in at a British school that exposing that a world-wide cabal of scientists may not have been...doing their job?

People in positions of trust seem increasingly criminal in their approach to their tasks. Worse still, and this is the question I'm throwing out here, is the only remedy for honest people to engage in increasingly lawless behavior, with break-ins here and feigned criminal activity there, in order to support reform?

These were non-violent acts. One hopes that the reasonable, honest and sane can generate sufficient revolution at the ballot box to preclude worse.

Mrs. Other McCain rocks D.C.!

Over at the American Spectator, I've posted photos of various bigwigs -- John Fund, Jeri Thompson, Roger Scruton, etc. -- having fun at the annual gala, but the No. 1 celebrity at last night's soiree was Mrs. Other McCain:

Mrs. Other McCain and I with Hannah Giles and Matthew Vadum. I'll post more photos after a while, but first I've got to upload them to Facebook.

RIGHT WING SCANDAL ROCKS D.C.: MATT WELCH SAYS JUST 'FRIENDS'

Earlier today, in an exclusive report, The Other McCain Enquirer brought you revelations of the shocking liaison between Matt Welch and Andrew Breitbart -- a right-wing scandal that has sparked rumors and innuendo from Washington to Hollywood.

Welch has claimed that he and Breitbart are merely "friends," while insinuating that "respectable news outlets" should avoid the brewing imbroglio. However, the Enquirer can now reveal that there is new proof of other furtive right-wing rendezvous . . .

Breitbart (left) with Stephen Hayes (far right) of the neocon Weekly Standard. The mysterious figure in the center has yet to be positively identified.

Enquirer sources say Welch has been known to cavort at parties with girls barely out of their teens.

Welch (left) with a 20-year-old named McCain (far right).

Breitbart's association with young girls is also notorious, as he is alleged to have used 20-year-old Hannah Giles in a scheme to secure non-profit funding to import South American teen prostitutes to work for infamous pimp, James O'Keefe. Miss Giles may also have other connections to the Welch/Breitbart neocon conspiracy, as shown by this stunning new Enquirer photo . . .

Left to far-right: Neoconservative author David Frum, Hannah Giles, nefarious right-wing operatives Tom Qualtere and Sergio Gor, and Lynn Vincent, infamous collaborator with Sarah Palin.

Furthermore, while it has been alleged by Kejda Germani that the woman in this photo is, in fact, married to the arch-conspirator Breitbart, the mysterious man shown with her (far right) has yet to be positively identified. He is, however, reputed to be an extremely social conservative.

The Enquirer is devoted to bringing you exclusive coverage of this emerging scandal that "respectable news outlets" refuse to touch . . . .

Does Dana Loesch really want me to post those lovely Hanna Giles bikini pics?

She seems to be hinting around, eh?

Thankfully, fellow conservative bloggers like RS McCain, Little Miss Attila and others recognized early on and by way of SEO made sure that their mentions of search terms involving Giles and bikinis brought searchers to their blogs, effectively lampooning those of ill will.

Please read the whole thing. It's good finally to see some official recognition for the army of bloggers who've helped with the Google-bomb project to protect Hannah from the left-wing smear merchants. I'm told they've already resorted to the kind of disgusting Photoshop tactics they've used against Ann Coulter, IYKWIMAITYD.

We anticipated their attack, and so we're not only foiling their predictable smears, it also means that every time Hannah makes the news again, Google searches bring the luridly curious to conservative sites, boosting our traffic.

And there's something else I should mention. If a freak is hooked on Internet porn to the point that he feels a compulsive need to Google for "Hannah Giles nude" or "Hannah Giles sex video" just because he sees a pretty girl on TV, doesn't he need help?

You never know. There are no accidents, as I like to say, and who knows what could happen if some porn-addicted dude, hunting for that picture, decides to click here? He might read that Hannah Giles is a fine Christian girl whose father is a youth minister.

That porn freak might feel some sense of embarrassment when he realizes how much time he's wasted Googling for "Hannah Giles lingerie." or "Hannah Giles topless." And he might say to himself, "Hey, you know, I hate taxes and deficits and intrusive government control, just like these conservative bloggers."

Perhaps that twisted, perverted soul will see a link that says "How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog," and he'll read down to Rule 5 ("Everybody Loves a Pretty Girl") and a spark will be kindled in his corrupt heart, and the light of truth will pierce his sin-clouded mind, suggesting the possibility of redemption.

"Maybe there's hope for me," the guy says. He thinks seriously about deleting his porn stash and clearing his bookmarks. "Instead of wasting all this time looking at porn on the Internet, maybe I should do something more productive. I could start a political blog and join the fight to preserve American liberty for future generations."

I'm pretty sure that explains Ace of Spades HQ. NTTAWWT.

Now, just in case anyone thinks I'm stupid, I also anticipated other possibilities. Who knows what's out there? However, had the Left succeeded in their attempt to get sexy photos of Hannah Giles, I'd still have them beat. The photos are real. And they're spectacular. Just a hint:


For two full weeks, I've had a completed post queued up and ready, so that I could publish the whole thing at the touch of a button, and prevent the Left from gaining any advantage even if they did find something.

Hannah's dad is a (very well-armed) friend of mine, and Hannah is the same age as my own daughter, and I don't want Perez Hilton or some other slimeball to get any of that traffic. Hannah Giles deserves to be respected, not smeared.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. . . . Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
-- Proverbs 31:10,30 KJV

Hope you'll be kind enough to hit the tip jar. Lots of smart guys on the Web, but insane geniuses are rare.

URGENT: ACORN SUES BREITBART

Via Newsbusters:

ACORN has filed a lawsuit in Maryland against James O’Keefe, Hannah Giles and the Web site Breitbart.com for secretly videotaping the organization’s employees at its Baltimore office.

Expect updates and maybe bikini photos . . .

(Don't hate me for that. Heaven knows I've suffered enough lately to be forgiven an innocent joke.)

Doug Giles writes column about Hannah, doesn't threaten to kill me (by name)

This is very good news!

It's been quite interesting watching and reading the statements coming from ACORN and various "news" organizations about the "facts" of the Giles/O'Keefe ACORN caper. . . .

Doug then proceeds to demolish all of the MSM/ACORN lies from start to finish. He does not specifically address the "Hannah Giles bikini" Google-bombs which conservative bloggers have deployed in defending his girl from the Left's predictable Photoshop smears.

I had a long phone conversation Friday with Jason "Big Sexy" Mattera, trying to get him to explain to our mutual (muscular and very well-armed) friend, Mr. Giles, exactly what the strategy was, and why the strategy could not be explained online, but had to be joked about. IYKWIMAITYD.

Mr. Giles will probably not hunt me down and shoot me like a dog. God forbid anybody is stupid enough to try to hurt Hannah. Here's some more from Doug's column:

Oh, FYI . . . if confessing I’m a sinner, believing orthodox Christian doctrine, saluting our flag and that for which it stands, loving the Constitution, hating terrorists, being fond of guns, hunting, country and rock music while adoring freedom makes me a crazy ultra-conservative Christian lunatic then I guess I am one of those. I will put that name right next to the other name Obama's former green czar called such a person back in March (I believe he called us "a**holes").

Oh, Doug, you should read some of the things Charles Johnson has said about people like you. Or then again, maybe you shouldn't. At any rate, my own 20-year-old daughter has a T-shirt from Rock For Life, which bears a motto:

You will not silence my message
You will not mock my God
You will stop killing my generation

Six kids, Doug. You wouldn't kill a father of six, would you?

LGF's Kilgore Trout attacks Hot Air

Ace of Spades has the details of an attack that I had actually predicted Thursday morning in an e-mail to Michelle Malkin.

My son's first football game is today, and I have other commitments this evening. However, I must first make these two brief notes:

• Irving Kristol, R.I.P. A great man, whose influence will be remembered and debated for many years to come. My condolences and sympathy to his family and many friends.
• A friend just told me that Hannah Giles was "hurt" by my seizing the Hannah Giles bikini Google-bomb last week. But I know how the Left works, and I knew what was coming as soon as Hannah became famous, as did other smart conservatives in the blogosphere. Respectful conservative bloggers now own all the top Google-searche results for those photos and Little Miss Attila has also protected this fine Christian girl against Hannah Giles nude and Hannah Giles sex video.

"Angels unaware," as I said in an update just now. And as I've said so many times, "Just because you don't know what I'm doing, don't assume that I don't know what I'm doing."

God bless you, Hannah. And I hope the God-haters will remember: When old No. 27's son says, "I'm going to beat you today," he's not bragging. It is a statement of fact.

Now I must go to my son's football game. Family tradition . . .

UPDATE 5:15 p.m.: Despite some sloppy execution -- Bear Bryant would have those boys running wind sprints Monday until they were spittin' cotton -- my son's team, Brick Squad, scored a 19-6 victory over the So Icy Boys. My son Bob missed a few tackles, but redeemed himself by sacking the quarterback to end the game.

Even if it's only intramural flag football, the victorious tradition must be maintained as a matter of honor.

UPDATE 6:40 p.m.: File this under Bwaahahahahaha: Hot Air just moved LGF from "War On Terror" to "Left Channels" on their blogroll. Screen-cap that, post it on your blog, link here, and you've got yourself a guaranteed link-back.

UPDATE 6:46 p.m.: Fritz Hannah Giles lingerie is learning at Patterico. BTW, we were with Jeff G. in his feud with Patterico, but let bygones be bygones, as I say to my Yankee wife.

Fired ACORN Baltimore workers to sue; PLUS: Hannah Giles Bikini Update

Jeff Quinton of Inside Charm City has the news via WBAL:

Former ACORN workers in the city are planning to file a civil complaint against the makers of the video, according to the website Investigative Voice.
City state’s attorney Patricia Jessamy said on WBAL’s Shari Elicker Show that she could not prosecute based on restrictions for evidence obtained illegally.
Maryland law requires two party consent to be recorded.

Exit question: How will this affect the Hannah Giles bikini Google-bomb wars? Expect updates . . .

UPDATE: Rather than talk to a veteran conservative journalist -- I've got an e-mail address and have already interviewed Hannah's father, Doug Giles -- James O'Keefe tells his story to the liberal MSM:

O'Keefe insists that he and Giles's work was done independently and rejects liberal suggestions that the videos were bankrolled by conservative organizations. He does, however, acknowledge receiving help and advice from a conservative columnist and Web entrepreneur.
When O'Keefe had filmed the first two videos -- in the District and Baltimore -- a friend urged him to share his project with Andrew Breitbart, a conservative Internet entrepreneur who had plans to launch an anti-liberal site called BigGovernment.com. Breitbart said he was skeptical after a June phone call with O'Keefe about what he had, but when the video was rolling in his basement office in Los Angeles in late July, Breitbart said, he gasped.

Doug Giles is my friend, yet I am profoundly hurt by O'Keefe's deliberate insult -- talking to the Washington Post before talking to me? When a 25-year-old punk starts insulting veteran journalists, there could be serious consequences. Expect further updates . . .

UPDATE II (1:25 p.m. ET): For the benefit of commenter Tom Rowan of Naples, Fla., who thinks the Hannah Giles bikini photo is a "hoax," some explanation is necessary:

• Doug Giles is a friend of mine, one of several VIPs invited to attend the legendary 2008 CPAC party that Matthew Vadum and I hosted.
• Hannah Giles is also a friend, and a friend of my friends, including Sergio Gor and Jason Mattera.
• As soon as the ACORN videos made news and Hannah Giles became a household name, I began getting Google-search traffic because of a photo I took of Hannah at the YAF National Conservative Student Conference in July.
• The Google-bomb has been deployed as a defensive weapon, to ensure that hostile left-wing online sources do not gain a traffic advantage.
• The Other McCain is a commercial enteprise, the revenue of which (a) is dependent upon traffic, having passed the 2.5-million hit mark yesterday and (b) now equals or exceeds my income from freelance journalism and Internet consulting.
• Please hit the tip jar.
• "I write for money." Which is my way of saying, I am a professional journalist. My ability to do perform this job -- to put bread on the table for my wife and six children -- is dependent, to a degree, on my access to sources.
• When it comes to getting the job done, my methods are not always orthodox. I'm not some famous network-news hotshot who can always count on important people returning his phone calls, so I am forced to use my wits to compensate for my tremendous disadvantages. "Ethics, shmethics," as I like to say. So long as I get the story, how I get the story is my own business. To be beaten on a major story is to dishonor the memory of my late father, old No. 27: "I'm going to beat you today."
• Andrew Breitbart is scheduling media interviews for his BigGovernment.com operation, and has not even permitted Hannah Giles to appear on her father's "Clash Radio" program.
• Doug Giles is a Christian minister and a gentleman whose paternal wrath no reasonable man should ever wish to incur, to wit:

Andrew Breitbart is also a friend of mine, who likewise attended the 2008 CPAC party and whom I profiled for The Washington Times in May 2007:

'News addict' gets his fix
From Drudge to Huffington, ex-slacker
Breitbart finds home on the Web
By Robert Stacy McCain, THE WASHINGTON TIMES
His computer pings with every new e-mail. His cell phone rings with calls from friends. Distractions surround Andrew Breitbart. Yet he remains focused on the latest happenings from around the world, flowing into his laptop computer via a half-dozen wire services and other news sources.
A self-described "news addict," the 38-year-old Californian sips a Mountain Dew as he scans the latest headlines and talks about his journey from being a stereotypical Generation X slacker to being on the cutting edge of the 21st-century information revolution.
Having already been associated with two of the biggest success stories on the Web -- DrudgeReport.com and HuffingtonPost.com -- he is now proprietor of the Breitbart.com news site, a project begun in 2005 that now attracts more than 3 million visits per month.
Not bad for someone who graduated from Tulane University in 1991 "with no sense of my future whatsoever," as Mr. Breitbart said in an interview during a visit to Washington last week. And not bad for someone diagnosed as afflicted with attention-deficit (hyperactivity) disorder, although he says ADHD might be the secret to his success.
"The Internet was like an awakening for me," Mr. Breitbart says, describing how, in 1992, his friend Seth Jacobson first told him about the online world. . . .

About an hour ago, I got off the phone with a friend of Hannah's who explained to me that the O'Keefe interview with The Washington Post was part of Breitbart's "media strategy."

Andrew is a man whose keen intelligence I admire, whose brilliant insights into New Media I respect. But if pissing me off is party of his strategy . . .

Expect further updates . . .

UPDATE III: The conservative Google-bomb defense is working! The Left is predictably doing its pathetic Photoshop smears, but respectful conservative sites are all the top Google results. All conservatives must link the Hannah Giles nude photo now.

Little Miss Attila is one of those "angels unawares."

UPDATE IV: "Just because you don't know what I'm doing, don't assume that I don't know what I'm doing." Brick Squad 19, So Icy Boys 6.

Mika Brzezinski bikini pics?

Da Tech Guy has a sick, twisted imagination. If Rule 5 is matter, Mika Brzezinski is anti-matter.

Why is it that, no matter how often the Savonarola of the right-wing blogosphere tries to lead by example, some of you evil-minion wannabe types need to be told things like this?

If you want to see first-class evil minionship, check out Nice Deb, with her super-fine photo of Pimpin' James and Kenya the Ho.

Let's face it, James O'Keefe is the biggest Mack Daddy who ever turned a girl out. And Hannah Giles . . . Dude. If Hannah's all about the Benjamins, Mika Brzezinski is all about the nickles and dimes.

What does Da Tech Guy have in common with ACORN? They're both nuts.

Da Tech Guy disses me, so naturally Jim Treacher don't give me no respect:

I was going to say something a bit saucy about Hannah Giles, but she's a black belt and her dad is a big-game hunter. So I'll just say that fearless investigative journalism has never looked this good.

Right. Like I never looked good. But when I was Hannah's age, Jimmy Carter was president and the unemployment rate was nearly as high as the inflation rate, but neither was as high as the interest rate. The only thing I was interested in investigating was how to sneak into my girlfriend's dorm room.

Hannah is involved in an organization called Young America's Foundation. Back in 1980, I was involved in a very popular youth organization called Garage Rock Band, which had at least three different chapters on the campus of Jacksonville (Ala.) State University alone.

Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet yet. A computer was something the size of my '72 Dodge Dart and was operated with little IBM cards that said "Do not fold, spindle or mutilate." So it's not exactly my fault I wasn't an overnight celebrity when I was 20.

If I'm beginning to sound like my father explaining to me what it was like to grow up on a dirt farm in Randolph County, Alabama, during the Great Depression, OK. Used to be, conservatives believed in traditional values.

Which was why I was never a young conservative. Baby, I'm the greatest musical has-been that never was:

I come up hard, baby, but now I'm cool.
I didn't make it sugar, playin' by the rules . . .

James O'Keefe is 25. When I was 25, I was making $5.25 an hour driving a forklift in a warehouse on Fulton Industrial Boulevard in Atlanta, trying to save up to buy a P.A. system to start my own band.

Haywood's Recording Studios in the West End had the best deal on eight-track time ($25 an hour, not including reel-to-reel master or cassette duplicates). So an eight-hour session cost more than my after-tax paycheck from two 40-hour weeks, and I worked as much overtime on that forklift as I could get.

The band . . . ah, well, it never turned out to be what I'd hoped. We practiced a lot, played a few parties, a few free outdoor concerts, but the guitar player and the bass player were more into their girlfriends than they were into the music. One day at practice, it all finally blew up, and it was just me and the drummer left. But I guess I've told most of that story before.

Nowadays, my old P.A. speakers are in my 16-year-old twin sons' bedroom, part of a makeshift guitar amp setup powered by a Marshall head. because the one boy thinks he's James Hetfield one day and John Frusciante the next. Whatever. He's no Steve Gaines. The other boy prefers acoustic. But they've been playing for three years, and I never even started playing guitar until I was 16. So who knows?

This afternoon, I dialed the phone number of a guy I was sure had forgotten me, but I was wrong.

"How could I ever forget you, man?" Haywood Tucker said. "You had some good tunes."

He's living in Mableton now, and runs his pro digital studio out of his house. We talked about the old days, and he remembered meeting my wife years ago, after I'd finally given up the music and started a family.

"Wow, I guess your kids are about all grown up now?" I asked. Yes, he said, and boasted that his daughter seems to have inherited his musical talent, writing songs for top groups. I told him my oldest was 20, junior in college, planning to be a teacher.

"That's good -- we need good teachers," Haywood said. I explained that both my boys play guitar, but lot more like Metallica than the kind of funk-rock fusion I was trying to get back in the '80s.

He congratulated me when I told him I'd been working as a Washington journalist for so mnay years, and I said, "Well, it's OK, I guess . . ."

It was a "blessing" to hear from me, he said, and at one point in our conversation, he said, "Well, the Lord knows who you are. Don't worry about all that other stuff."

Really, why should I worry? Still, I asked him if, next time he and his family said grace, they'd mention my name. You can never have too much of that.

UPDATE: The O'Keefe/O'Toole error noted by the copy desk commenters has been corrected.

Senate condemns ACORN; House expected to approve Hannah Giles bikini photos

Charles Johnson could not be reached for comment:

A poverty-rights group that has drawn the ire of conservatives suffered another setback in Washington on Monday when the U.S. Senate voted overwhelmingly to deny it access to federal housing funds. . . .

"Poverty rights"? I guess that means ACORN fights for people's right to be poor. NTTAWWT, but I don't remember "poverty rights" in the Constitution. Let's see if we can find something a bit more fair and balanced:

A growing number of Republican lawmakers are calling for congressional hearings and IRS audits of ACORN following the release of three videotapes that show the group's employees offering advice to a "pimp" and a "prostitute" on how to skirt the law.
Rep. Steve King, R-IA, said a video released Monday that shows filmmaker James O'Keefe, 25, and Hannah Giles, 20, getting advice from ACORN employees in Brooklyn, N.Y., on how to launder their earnings and avoid detection while running a prostitution business is "another reason to turn it up" on ACORN.

Much better. Now let's try Ed Morrissey:

Senator Mike Johanns (R-NE) introduced an amendment to the HUD and Transportation appropriation bill to strip ACORN of all federal funding. A week ago, Johanns wouldn’t have gotten the amendment to the floor. Today, however, after three straight days of BigGovernment.com’s video exposés of ACORN offices in Washington DC, New York City, and Baltimore offering assistance to pimping, tax evasion, and trafficking in underage Salvadorean girls, Johanns not only got his vote — but he got an impressive bipartisan showing. The Senate passed the Johanns amendment 83-7

Wow, 83-7! Coincidentally, that's exactly the ratio of e-mails I'm getting in favor of my publishing the Hannah Giles bikini photo.

At this point, however, I owe a big hat-tip to Ace of Spades, who taught me almost everything I know about the running-gag method of building blog-reader loyalty. Ace blogs with personality and, though his actual self bears an oft-noted resemblance to an Ewok with a law degree, the outrageous humor of his online persona is what sets him apart from grim, humorless bloggers about whom we need not say anything specific at this point.

Humor wins. Humor persuades. And, as Ronald Reagan so often demonstrated, no humor is as winningly persuasive as self-deprecating humor. The guy who tells jokes on himself is telling others, "Hey, I comprehend that I am not exempt from the general ridiculousness of human folly." So when Ace jokes about swilling Valu-Rite vodka and beating up hobos -- he's notoriously hobophobic -- he invites readers to laugh at him, but also with him.

Ace is an acknowledged master of the running gag, and after a while, the running gag becomes an inside joke. Longtime readers bust a gut when he references the Paul Anka Integrity Trip, and part of the joy of recycling an old joke is the fact that only longtime readers will get it. This rewards reader loyalty, you see. "Membership has its privileges," and the longtime AOSHQ Moron gets a special payoff when Ace throws in a Scandi-hating reference to filthy lutefisk-gobblers.

Blog junkies may never get to this level of abstract theory about what makes AOSHQ so darned good, but if you're a middle-aged journalist who just quit the newspaper business and you need to grow a blog readership fast, you're like the engineer at KIA trying to reverse-engineer a Jaguar XJ. That was the kind of raw desperation that led to "How to Get a Million Hits On Your Blog In Less Than A Year."

OK, so one of the terms that Ace taught me is "blog-o-bucks." Readers of a major blogger like AOSHQ picture Ace living the high life in posh surroundings, lighting his imported cigars with twenty-dollar bills and generally, as P.J. O'Rourke once said, "farting through silk."

Alas, it's not as lucrative and as glamorous as all that and, despite his outrageously enviable success, Ace is unlikely to be buying a Gulfstream anytime soon.

If longtime readers suspect this is all leading up to a request that you hit the tip jar -- hey, there's your payoff. Membership has its rewards, and Dave C. at Point of a Gun shows why your contributions to the blog-o-bucks are desperately needed -- to help us blogger dudes hang out with biker chicks who come to D.C. for protest marches.

You really should hit the tip jar, because it enables me to play the comic role of the over-the-hill ladies' man, trying to convince himself he's still got the magic. Which is why I'm so grateful to lady-bloggers like Barbara "Angry Mob" Espinosa:

[T]he night was icing on the cake my new best married friend the infamous Robert Stacy McCain aka The Other McCain in the blog world and famous author arranged what he calls a Smittypalooza at the Army Navy Club. . . . This group of blogger's are the most knowledgable, nicest patriotic Americans you could ever meet. We had a wonderful time talking with a group of intelligent good looking guys who carried on conversations about current events with a few jokes and jabs at each thrown in to keep them on their toes. Afterwards a few of us went out for a bite to eat and always a gentlemen as well as a scholar Wombat Rampant walked us back to our hotel as The Other McCain drove over to the hotel to help me with my computer.

"Help me with my computer." Nudge, nudge. I bet you say that to all the bloggers, Barbara. IYKWIMAITYD. While Mrs. Other McCain is usually jealous of my girlfriends drinking buddies Internet consulting clients, for some reason, she's OK with Barbara.

Oh, yeah -- the string of crossed-out descriptors is another running gag. Schtick, as they say. (Or is it schtupp? I'm confused. Maybe I need to buy a Yiddish-English dictionary. So hit the tip jar.) You might have noticed that Mrs. Other McCain's jealousy is also schtick. Or schtupp. Whatever . . . hit the freaking tip jar.

Now, you're probably wondering what any of this has to do with Hannah Giles bikini photos. Well, if it weren't for Hannah Giles portraying the role of "Kenya" the prostitute, the Senate wouldn't have condemned ACORN. After the ACORN video made news, I started getting random Google hits from people searching for her photo -- which I had posted in July's coverage of the annual YAF conference.

As soon as I realized this, I posted another Hannah Giles photo and, almost immediately, commenters began requesting Hanna Giles bikini photos -- another payoff to loyal readers, who know how I shamelessly milked curiosity about Sarah Palin bikini pics and Carrie Prejean nude for traffic.

This involves a Stupid Blogger Trick known as the Google-bomb, and is also part of the reward of Rule 5, which rivals Rule 2 in popularity in "How to Get a Million Hits On Your Blog In Less Than A Year."

Rule 5A: Everybody loves a pretty girl. And the category of "everybody" includes sick freaks who search for naked photos of celebrities. (Cynthia Yockey actually gets Bea Arthur nude traffic. These people are sick, I tell you.)

These freaks are not just sick, but stupid. Perversion makes people stupid, as you might have concluded from watching TV shows about idiots who haven't yet figured out that every 13-year-old girl in an Internet chat room is either (a) an undercover cop or (b) Chris Hansen of "Dateline NBC."

So it isn't necessary to actually post nude photos of celebrities in order to get Internet traffic from idiots looking for nude photos of celebrities. If a female celebrity makes news, or if any good-looking woman suddenly becomes famous, the smart blogger who acts fast can get traffic by betting on the predictability that perverse idiots will be seeking nude photos, topless photos or bikini photos of her.

It is a fact that, in the 5 a.m. hour, 31% of my traffic was from Google freaks searching for Hannah Giles photos. A fact, but not an accident, because I don't believe in accidents. So any liberal scumbag or Perez Hilton celebrity-blogger slimeball who thinks he's going to cash in on Hannah's sudden fame . . .

Dude. Nobody beats the Rule 5 Google-bomb king. Hannah is protected, you see, and certainly not by the Google-bomb alone. Not even a denunciation by notorious God-hater Charles Johnson can harm her.

Considering that I'm sharing very valuable advice with conservative bloggers here, maybe somebody should hit the tip jar. But if you are actually so stupid as to believe I'm going to post Hannah Giles bikini photos . . . hey, you're in luck!

Despite the fact that Hannah is a devout Christian girl the same age as my own daughter, despite the fact that her father, Doug Giles, is a friend of mine and a Christian youth leader -- well-known for his skill with firearms and martial arts -- I am indeed going to post a photo of Hannah in a bikini:

That's Hannah on the left, and there's no need to name the tall blonde on the right. (A good reporter never burns his sources, especially tall blonde sources from Texas.) But if you'll click on the image, it will show the whole photo.

Genius? Maybe, although I'm sometimes kind of sloppy with the HTML code, so e-mail Smitty if you have any problems with that link . . . you sick freaks.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. . . . Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
-- Proverbs 31:10, 30 (KJV)

As Doug Giles could certainly tell you, there are lots of people who won't sit still for a sermon, but they love to hear a good joke. Deo Vindice.

Hannah Giles Bikini Update: VIDEO?

Yes, that's right! In our desperate effort to prevent other "shameless, lubricious and exploitative" bloggers from stealing the coveted Hannah Giles bikini Google-bomb -- don't push me, McEnroe, or I'll detonate it -- we are proud to report that Aleister at American Glob now has hot video of Hannah Giles! . . .

. . . on the the Sean Hannity show, but let's face it, any video of Hannah Giles is "hot video."

ACORN endorses . . . capitalism? ALSO: Hannah Giles bikini photo update

My friend Matthew Vadum texted me about this during Saturday's rally, but I thought he was joking. Yet now I find out it was true: ACORN was selling miniature Gadsden Flags at the event! (Video at the link.)

The fact that those yellow "Don't Tread On Me" flags, sold by ACORN for $5 each, were made in Chinese communist sweatshops and wholesale for about 17 cents? Now, that's what I call shameless capitalist opportunism.

Maybe they're not really so bad after all . . .

BTW, speaking of shamelessness, Joe at Novatownhall is trying to steal the "Hannah Giles bikini" Google-bomb from me. Careful, Joe, you might force me to actually post that photo, and when Doug Giles kills me, the blood will be on your hands.

UPDATE: Day-By-Day seems to be dropping hints, with a hot chick in underwear talking about ACORN:

Cartoon characters don't have dads with real guns. Is Chris Muir trying to get me killed? Death by Rule 5?

Interview with Doug Giles, whose daughter Hannah helped take down ACORN

In wake of the news that the Census Bureau has cut ties withe ACORN, I posted this at The American Spectator:

I just got off the phone with Christian youth leader Doug Giles, whose 20-year-old daughter played the role of the prostitute "Kenya" in the now-famous videos.
"A lot of young activists just caught fire," said Giles. "I'd like to take credit, but it was all Hannah."
Giles said he has received an overwhelming response, entirely positive except for one negative e-mail from a "knucklehead."
As for the "community organizer" group exposed by the video at Andrew Breitbart's BigGovernment.com, Giles said jokingly, "Those ACORN people are sweating in their nut-sacks."

Read the whole thing. Meanwhile, Michelle Malkin has text of the letter from the director of the Census Bureau to ACORN:

"Over the last several months, through ongoing communication with our regional offices, it is clear that ACORN's affiliation with 2010 Census promotion has caused sufficient concern in the general public, has ineed become a distraction from our mission, and may even become a discouragement to public cooperation, negatively impacting 2010 Census efforts. While not decisive factors in this decision, recent events concerning several local offices of ACORN have added to the worsening negative perceptions of ACORN and its affiliation with our partnership efforts. . . . We no longer have confidence that our national partnership agreement is being effectively managed through your offices."

Hasta la vista, dirtbags! BigGovernment.com has an official statement from the executive dirtbags at ACORN, and there's much more reaction at Memeorandum.

UPDATE: Ruh-roh. Jeff Quinton tipped me about this yesterday, and now Jeff follows up with this:

STATEMENT OF STATE’S ATTORNEYS OFFICE FOR BALTIMORE CITY RELATIVE TO THE ALLEGED BALTIMORE ACORN INCIDENT
Baltimore, MD – September 11, 2009 – We have received inquiries from citizens and the media asking whether the Baltimore City State’s Attorneys Office would initiate a criminal investigation for acts allegedly committed at ACORN offices located in Baltimore. The only information received in reference to this alleged criminal behavior was a YouTube video. Upon review by this office, the video appears to be incomplete. In addition, the audio portion could possibly have been obtained in violation of Maryland Law, Annotated Code of Maryland Courts and Judicial Proceedings Article §10-402, which requires two party consent.
If it is determined that the audio portion now being heard on YouTube was illegally obtained, it is also illegal under Maryland Law to willfully use or willfully disclose the content of said audio. The penalty for the unlawful interception, disclosure or use of it is a felony punishable up to 5 years.

WBAL is also reporting this angle. Such a prosecution would be a public-relations disaster for the state, for Democrats and for ACORN, but when liberals get a jones for vengeance, they don't usually care about such things. Just ask Linda Tripp.

UPDATE II: Evidently, Hot Air and Ace of Spades were on it first, but I saw it via Jeff Quinton's Inside Charm City, which is why I credited him. Also blogging at Weasel Zippers. Will update if further developments.

BTW, I'm told Hannah Giles will be on Fox News' "Red Eye" tonight, and Ann Coulter will also be a guest.

UPDATE III: Michelle Malkin is on the story, and Ed Morrissey has the lowdown on the state's attorney in Baltimore, Patricia Jessamy, a liberal Democrat hack -- as might be expected. That's why they call them "Baltimorons," after all.

Notice that when Fox News covers ACORN, that's raaaaacist. However, when the Washington Post is compelled to follow up on the news . . . crickets chirping.

Also, as Little Miss Attila points out, I do have Hannah Giles bikini photos. I already own the Google bomb, but haven't decided yet whether to post the actual photos. My dilemma is this: Knowing that the photos exist, what happens if some sleazy leftoid site gets hold of them and posts them first? In such a scenario, by being "too nice," I would inadvertantly allow a liberal dirtbag to get all that lucrative traffic -- and the liberal dirtbag would (a) put the photos in a negative context, and (b) allow a lot of nasty comments.

Many people have observed of the ACORN situation that the stunning thing in all this was how anyone could be so stupid as to believe that someone as nice as Hannah would be a prostitute. Even with the giant green plastic earrings and slinky skirt.

UPDATE IV (Saturday 10:45 a.m): I'm off to Washington today to cover the 9/12 March on DC. Just in case an emergency arises, a post with the Hannah Giles bikini photo is already queued up in draft, and one call to Smitty . . . Well, I hope we don't have to do it, but it would be wrong to let some liberal dirtbag get that traffic.

ACORN Now Developing Anti-Fraud Program Called 'Know Your Ho'(UPDATED: BREAKING NEWS)

UPDATE 9/18: Fired ACORN Baltimore workers to sue; PLUS: Hannah Giles Bikini Update.

BUMPED 6:45 PM ET: Census Bureau severs ties with ACORN; more updates below!

* * * * *

PREVIOUSLY (11:54 a.m.): A surge of Google-search hits informs me that lots of people are trying to find photos of Hannah Giles who specializes in exposing fraud at ACORN by posing as a teenage hooker named "Kenya." Because I posted a photo of Hannah at this summer's YAF conference, I'm getting a lot of that traffic.

ACORN staffers are probably trying to find a photo of Hannah and will soon be putting up posters in their offices to make sure Miss Giles does not fool them again. I wanted to do my part for "community organizing," so . . .

UPDATE: The commenters asking me for Hannah Giles bikini photos have, besides giving me cause to grab that Google bomb, reminded me to send a congratulatory note to my Facebook friend Doug Giles, Hannah's father. Hannah and my oldest daughter are the same age, so I know how proud he must be of Hannah's work -- the Census Bureau just severed ties with ACORN -- and also suspect he's just a wee bit uncomfortable about her sudden fame.

As for the bikini pics, I know they exist because I've seen them on Facebook. One of my friends vacationed with the Giles family in Florida, posting photos. I'll look for them, but I warn you: Doug Giles will kill any commenter who says anything untoward about his girl.

UPDATE II: Well, I still haven't found those bikini pics, but I think my conservative friends will appreciate this next photo. First of all, both of Doug's daughters are martial-arts black belts. Yes, I said both daughters, because here is a photo of Doug with Hannah's younger sister, giving you an idea of what the Giles family does for fun:

See that wild hog? Guess who shot it? The girl. Doug informs us that Hannah's little sister killed "a big boar 225lbs, with 3-inch teeth, that she shot on a dead run at 40yds."

And you know what? I'm thinking maybe you guys should just forget about the bikini pictures, eh? Anybody want to argue otherwise? Argue respectfully.

UPDATE III: The requested photos have been located. I'm thinking that posting the photos -- which might incur the righteous wrath of the well-armed Doug Giles -- would require as a minimal condition the following three agreements:

• This post must be linked by all my blogger buddies;
• There must be solemn vows of respect and decorum in the comments, as Miss Giles is a devout Christian young lady; and
• Something else . . . I forgot.

What could it be?

UPDATE IV: Just did a phone interview with Doug Giles.