Celebrity update

Caught up in the heat of the presidential campaign, it's been a couple of weeks since I've updated you on what's going on with the Hollywood crowd -- I read this disgusting tabloid trash so you don't have to!

• Dysfunction junction -- America's most dysfunctional family had a reunion as Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears and mama Lynn Spears got together for the birthday of Britney's two sons -- you know, the ones she lost in a custody battle with her former backup dancer, what's-his-name.
• Who's that hottie? -- Oh, that's just Angelina Jolie ... when she was 16, you disgusting pervert. Now, she's a grownup woman with 33 tattoos, most famous as half of "Brangelina."
• Speaking of jailbait -- Miley Cyrus, 15, has a new boyfriend, 20-year-old Justin Gaston.
• Rap daddy -- Rap mogul T.J. responds to accusations that he's going cheap on child support for his two sons, Messiah and Domani.
• Largemouth Lance -- Lance Bass, the gay ex-N'Sync singer, gets ready for "Dancing With the Stars."
• Mama mia! Motherhood looks good on Jessica Alba.
• Skanks for the memories -- Amy Winehouse refused to go to her own 25th birthday party because years of drug abuse have made her so "f---ing ugly."

Drugs, sex, motherhood, fatherhood, gayness, jailbait -- yeah, that's enough celebrity news for one day. But if you need more, try WeSmirch, the preferred dirt-dump of celebrity bloggers everywhere!