Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Crazy Headline of the Day

Parents banned from watching
their children in playgrounds . . .
in case they are paedophiles

Via A Conservative Shemale

NY23: Hey, college conservatives, are you up for a Hoffmania weekend road trip?

OK, I'm close to finalizing plans for my own road trip to cover the crucial special election in upstate New York's 23rd District, leaving Thursday morning. Now what I'm wondering is this: Are any conservative college students planning to go up to volunteer this weekend for the Doug Hoffman campaign?

Watch this video of Hoffman volunteers Jeremy Kain and Tony Maglione, recorded last Friday:

If you're a conservative student who has been wondering what you can do to make a difference, the Hoffman campaign needs you. Maybe your Mom and Dad are conservatives who are fed up with RINO sellouts in the GOP establishment, and they'll help pay your way to upstate New York.

This is the last weekend before Election Day Nov. 3, and there's lots of work to do. All you have to do is get up there and contact the Hoffman campaign, and you'll be in the middle of the biggest election of the year. Please read: HOFFMANIA: CATCH IT!

Our complete coverage of the NY23 special election

Burka Your Enthusiasm

by Smitty

Piece of Work in Progress is sponsoring a Larry David contest, to honor the man's inability to differentiate between a urinal and the meaning of life. The Other McCain, sucker for a contest that it is, has gone at it with Visio and a thought about where courageous artists like Larry David would like to take our culture:


Remember, Larry, Romans Chapter 5, Verse 8:
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Your tawdry act cannot overcome this.

Why stop at inflating the currency?

by Smitty (h/t Below the Beltway)

Hey, say Jane Delung and Judith A. Himes of the Population Resource Center in Princeton, N.J.:, let's consider inflating the membership in the House of KleptomaniacsRepresentatives.

If we really are a single, United State, with 570 different license plate stamping operations, then maybe this idea doesn't completely suck pond water.

However,
  • If we're 50 States United, then maybe jacking up the salary cost of the Federal Government isn't as good. Why pay for additional nitwits to avoid reading crucial legislation?
  • Does the number of Presidential Czars proportionally increase, to keep the amount of Executive oversight at its comfortably low level?
The solution to crappy government is not more government.


Update, from the comments:
the founders wanted the house to increase with the population so that the house always remained the peoples house and did not turn into a small house of lords.
Well, that idea got shot in the face circa 1913. So, while your point may be valid, it's unclear how adding more Pelosis and Murthas and Morans and Rangles and Duke Cunninghams is going to improve the situation one whit.

Update II: NYT has a related article on the effects of the 2010 census.

NY23: Dan Riehl on GOP bungling -- did NRCC staff put the fix in for Dede?
UPDATE: Mike Long's Reaction

UPDATE 1:50 p.m.: Mike Long, chairman of the New York Conservative Party, said he had not seen Dan Riehl's report, but in a brief telephone interview said he would not be surprised by Tom Reynold's involvement in the Scozzafava pick.

Long said he had been told that at least one NRCC staffer was present at the meeting where Scozzafava was picked by NYGOP. As for the general bungling by which the ACORN-endorsed liberal was selected as the nominee, Chairman Long said of New York Republicans: "It they stood up for principles, [the Conservative Party] would have been out of business a long time ago."

PREVIOUSLY: Dan says he's got the lowdown on who screwed the pooch in this key New York congressional election. He quotes Michael Patrick Leahey's excellent account of the role played by New York Republicans, including Assemblywoman Janet Duprey. However, Dan kept digging and says it goes further up the ladder:
Duprey certainly deserves plenty of blame according to my sources, [but] the more important claim is not that the NRCC delegated the decision to local Republicans like Duprey, as Newt [Gingrich] would insist, instead they deferred to an old line power broker, former NRCC Chair and former NY Representative Tom Reynolds. They insist NRCC Executive Director, Guy Harrison, or his aides, were on the ground to sheppard [Dede] Scozzafava through the allegedly open process from selection to finish, regardless of polls, or how local Republicans felt. The NRCC in the person of Reynolds thought they knew better than that and them. . . .
Read the whole thing. It took three ballots for Scozzafava to secure the nomination, and I'd heard rumors of favor-swapping and arm-twisting. The suggestion that NRCC staff -- the hired help, as it were -- were involved in putting the fix in for Dede will enrage people, although it shouldn't really be surprising.

UPDATE: Dan Riehl has received a denial from the NRCC, Daniel Patrick Leahey is following up at TCOT, and I've linked it over at the American Spectator. Meanwhile, RNC Chairman Michael Steele is still backing Scozzafava.

UPDATE II: Not directly related, but Dana Loesch at Dump Dede gives a link to my American Spectator column, "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Transparency is the secret of Rule 2 -- bloggers openly and shamelessly linking each other, unlike the opaque behind-the-scene wheeling and dealing of GOP Establishment operatives.

UPDATE III: And speaking of shamelessness, I'm once again soliciting contributions to the Shoe Leather Fund for my next trip up to cover NY23. Thanks to Bill Quick, Nathan in Missouri, Jeff in Walla Walla, Wash., Bryce in Oregon, Richard in Lancaster, Michael in Santa Clarita, Mr. and Mrs. Belvedere (?) and Brett in New South Wales, Australia (!) who've already kicked in today.

Every contribution -- $2, $5, $10, $20, $50 -- to help fund my on-the-road reporting is deeply appreciated. Jimmie Bise has said I rattle the tip jar until my teeth hurt, but there's no shame in my game. It's not charity, it's fee-for service. This is Old School in the New Media. We're eliminating the middleman, you see, creating a direct nexus with the readers. You foot the bill, I hit the road.

Isn't capitalism a beautiful thing?

UPDATE 3 p.m. ET: Political Byline dubs it "NY23Gate."

NY23: The two-week turnaround

My latest American Spectator column:
What a difference two weeks can make. Toward the end of an Oct. 14 conference call organized by David Keene of the American Conservative Union, congressional candidate Doug Hoffman plaintively asked, "Does anybody know how to get Glenn Beck interested in this?"
Monday afternoon, Hoffman was interviewed on Beck's popular Fox News program, evidence of the surging momentum the Conservative Party candidate has experienced in the three-way special election campaign in update New York's 23rd District.
In the past six days, Hoffman has been endorsed by former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, Sen. Jim DeMint, Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, former National Republican Congressional Campaign chairmen John Linder and Tom Cole…
The complete list of Hoffman endorsers is a long one, and seems to include nearly every Republican except Newt Gingrich and Dede Scozzafava, the later of whom is Hoffman's opponent, and the former her only prominent supporter. . . .
Please read the whole thing. Often in the past few days, I've thought about that Oct. 14 conference call. Lisa De Pasquale sent me a message at 3:07 p.m. that afternoon asking me to be on the 3:30 p.m. call. She didn't even tell me what it was about, but it's never a smart idea to say "no" to Lisa.

Who else was on that call? John Hawkins, I know, was one of the dozen or so bloggers on the call, and he can testify to the sense of urgency that came across so clearly. Hoffman's team believed they had the momentum. What they didn't have was (a) media and (b) money. If they could get the media attention, the money would come.

The next day, Oct. 15, the Siena poll verified that Hoffman was surging. That afternoon, I called Lisa and asked if she could get me contact info for Hoffman's staff, which she did. Early Friday, I got some little tidbits of news from them, and decided to work up a long profile piece that night. That was well-received, so I dug in on the NY23 beat and, by the night of Tuesday, Oct. 20, had already laid out my itinerary for my road trip.

First road trip, that is. I'm planning to go back tomorrow and, good Lord willing, will stay all the way through to Election Night, Nov. 3. Having seen this campaign take off like a rocket in the past two weeks, I don't want to miss the moon landing. So please contribute to the Shoe Leather Fund.

Last week's trip was more than 1,300 miles. At 20 cents per mile, that's $260. However, my 20-year-old daughter's car broke down Monday night, and she'll need the KIA Optima to get back and forth to work and college. So figure $75 a day for me to rent a car, for six days -- leaving Thursday, returning Oct. 4 -- that's $450.

As usual, two packs of cigarettes per day ($5 x 2 x 6 = $60 for the trip) and six cups of coffee a day ($2 x 6 x 6 = $72), plus two $5 fast-food meals daily ($5 x 2 x 6 = $60). It's possible I may be able to get a break on lodging for this trip, crashing free in Lake Placid with the 73wire crew through Saturday, and another reporter who's going up to the 23rd District said I can split a room with him Sunday-Tuesday ($70 x 3 = $210).

Total ballpark estimate = $1,200. Roughly $200 a day, start-to-finish. But don't think about the big numbers. Just think about $5, $10, $20, $50. If the Hoffman campaign could raise $116,000 in small donations in a single day, I ought to be able to clear $1,200 easy in the next few days, even without a Sarah Palin endorsement.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Has anyone located the Presidential backside?

by Smitty

The Spiegel interview has a few good riffs, especially the second page, emphasis mine:
SPIEGEL: You famously coined the term "Reagan Doctrine" to describe Ronald Reagan's foreign policy. What is the "Obama Doctrine?"

Krauthammer: I would say his vision of the world appears to me to be so naïve that I am not even sure he's able to develop a doctrine. He has a view of the world as regulated by self-enforcing international norms, where the peace is kept by some kind of vague international consensus, something called the international community, which to me is a fiction, acting through obviously inadequate and worthless international agencies. I wouldn't elevate that kind of thinking to a doctrine because I have too much respect for the word doctrine.

SPIEGEL: Are you saying that diplomacy always fails?

Krauthammer: No, foolishness does. Perhaps when he gets nowhere on Iran, nowhere with North Korea, when he gets nothing from the Russians in return for what he did to the Poles and the Czechs, gets nowhere in the Middle East peace talks -- maybe at that point he'll begin to rethink whether the world really runs by international norms, consensus, and sweetness and light, or whether it rests on the foundation of American and Western power that, in the final analysis, guarantees peace.
CK thrashes the Right equally for lacking leadership, and then asserts he's too old to back up his trash-talk with running for office himself.

Great dodge, buddy. He's sufficiently crafty that I have to wonder if his anti-Palin rhetoric isn't just slick reverse psychology.
  • Sarah is still a few weeks shy of Going Rogue, so her actual policy directions at the national level aren't known.
  • Taking the skeptical stance on Sarah buys credibility, and enables heavier hits on BHO without seeming as partisan.
  • Condescending to the popular, charismatic candidate will piss the conservative base right off, helping galvanize support.
I'll see CK's contrarian and raise him a curmudgeon: lack of a central "personality" on the right ain't no bug. It's a feature. What's at stake is the commitment to the Constitutional principles of the country, not the individual stylings of a stuffed shirt or a stuffed skirt.

What good another Reagan, or even an American Magaret Thatcher (should Sarah prove to be of that caliber) if you follow that leader with a G.H.W. Bush? The real threats are dire, structural, and exceed any on person's capacity to address. Swapping out our First Black President in exchange for our First Woman President macht nichts without a societal course change as firm and protracted as our commitment to debt slavery.

Socialism is the opiate of the bureaucracy, to paraphrase Nietszche. But cold turkey is a better answer to the problem of dope than more dope.

Full circle, then, CK: fine snark indeed. Your attention and wisdom is drawn towards figuring out how to convince the American people that, given the choice between Canaan and Egypt, the current movement towards Egypt is undesirable.

NY23: Travel Notes

Lord, I was born a rambling man,
Trying to make a living
And doing the best I can . . .

-- Allman Brothers Band
Other things being equal, whenever I travel, I prefer to stay at a Hampton Inn. They're ubiquitous, relatively standardized, and of a reliable quality. There will be a clean bed, a desk, good Wi-Fi, free coffee in the lobby and a decent continental breakfast in the morning.

Other journalists like Holiday Inn, and some of the big network hotdogs will fly in and bill their bosses for a really posh downtown Sheraton or Hilton, but when I'm driving several hundred miles to cover a story and free to choose my own accommodations, I'll always go for the Hampton Inn nearest the interstate exit. Accuse me of bias in this matter, if you wish. That’s just how I roll.

How, then, to explain why I spent two nights last week at the Parkview Hotel in downtown Syracuse?

When I'd laid out my itinerary for this trip to cover the Doug Hoffman campaign in New York's 23rd District, I'd been quite specific:
$145 gets me Wednesday night at a Hampton Inn near Syracuse, N.Y. $155 gets me Thursday night at a Hampton Inn near Plattsburgh, N.Y.

And that was honestly my plan. Dick Armey was scheduled to appear Wednesday night at a FreedomWorks meet-up in Cicero, near the Syracuse airport, and so I checked online and found that the nearest Hampton Inn was $145 a night.

When I called, however, I learned they were booked solid. What I hadn't anticipated was that Syracuse University was having "Parents Week," and nearly every hotel in town was full. So scratch the Hampton Inn.

Then, en route to the Wednesday night event, I talked to a source and learned Armey's schedule for his New York trip. After the FreedomWorks meet-up in Cicero, he'd travel Thursday morning to Watertown to announce his endorsement of Hoffman. They would then immediately travel back to Syracuse for a private luncheon, followed by an afternoon press conference where Hoffman would endorse the flat tax. (Syracuse is not in NY23, but is the regional media center covering most of the district.)

This schedule meant I'd have to scratch my itinerary. It made no sense to check out of a Syracuse-area hotel Thursday morning, travel to Watertown, travel back to Syracuse, and then drive several hours to Plattsburgh, arriving late Thursday night. No, clearly the thing to do was to make Syracuse the base for two days, then make a day trip to Plattsburgh on Friday.

An ability to improvise is essential to surviving in the news business. You make your plans for coverage, but then stuff happens and you have to be able to change your plans to fit the story. It's not the kind of business that is suitable to a rigid, uptight personality. How the heck David Brooks spent years as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal is therefore an interesting question, but not one I have time to contemplate now.

So, Wednesday I rolled into Cicero late for the Armey/FreedomWorks meet-up. The Google directions were wrong, and I had to stop twice to ask directions. At the second place, a Byrne Dairy convenience store, a clerk named Greg finally got me pointed the right way. (Greg is a retired Army captain and had a TomTom device in his car.)

Finding the location in Cicero proved maddeningly difficult. I decided to grab a sandwich, text-messaged two of Armey's assistants ("Please call me ASAP.") and waited for them to call. Finally, with one of the assistants directing me by phone, I reached the location, the courtyard of a mall/auto dealership called "Drivers Village."

After the meeting ended I interviewed a few people. When Armey and his crew were preparing to leave, I asked them about the Thursday schedule. Where were they staying? Could I ride with them up to Watertown and back or, failing that, follow them caravan-style?

Well, they had a full vehicle, so I couldn't ride along, but they were staying at the Parkview downtown. Although I figured it would be too rich for my budget, I had to ask, "How much are y'all paying for a room there?"

The answer surprised me: $105 a night. Wow. Forty bucks a night less than the Hampton near the airport, and $50 less than the Hampton in Plattsburgh. So I got directions, drove downtown, walked in the front door of the Parkview, asked the clerk for a room, and 10 minutes later was checked in at this fine hotel, built in 1926 and beautifully appointed in art nouveau style.

Why so cheap? Location, location, location. The lavish, massive, modern Renaissance Hotel is half a block down the street, and if you were a businessman booking a big conference, the newer facility has all the advantages over the quaint Parkview. Market forces thus required the Parkview to offer a lower rate in order to maintain a sufficient level of occupancy to assure profitability.

A free-market guy like Dick Armey could appreciate the beauty of this, as could I, since it meant that I'd spend two nights in elegant style for $90 less than what I'd have paid for accommodations at the Hampton.

No time to relate the whole trip now, as another midnight deadline looms. Here's the opening of my Monday feature article in The American Spectator:
State Route 3 runs through New York's 23rd Congressional District from Hannibal on the west end near Lake Ontario to Plattsburgh on the shore of Lake Champlain that forms the state's eastern border with the Vermont.
From Hannibal, it takes about an hour and a half to drive to Watertown (population 27,310, which makes it one of the district's largest towns). Drive another 115 miles east from Watertown, and State Route 3 crosses a bridge and becomes known locally as River Street. There's a pizza shop on the right as you cross the intersection with Main Street. Just past Church Street on the left, in the former location of a Nice 'n' Easy convenience store, is the main headquarters of the Doug Hoffman for Congress campaign.
Friday afternoon, two campaign staffers and a handful of volunteers were manning Hoffman HQ, stuffing envelopes, answering phones and handing out yard signs to supporters who occasionally dropped in. Unless you were already aware of the news surrounding the Conservative Party candidate in this three-way special election, you'd never suspect that this building in Saranac Lake, N.Y. (population 4,908) was Ground Zero for one of the biggest political stories of the year. . . .
Read the whole thing. It's your contributions to the Shoe Leather Fund that allow me to do this kind of stuff as a freelancer. Editors are happy to get original on-the-scene reporting, but trying to talk them into footing the bill for travel is a hassle. Thanks to you guys, this hassle can be overcome.

I've got some more photos from the trip I haven't posted yet, so we'll let the pictures tell more of the story:

What can the efforts of one reporter/blogger mean in a campaign like this?
Thanks in large part to bloggers like Erick Erickson and Robert Stacy McCain, the race has garnered national attention. In the modern media era, even the most obscure election can set the motion for a conservative comeback . . .
That's from CPAC Director Lisa De Pasquale's Townhall.com column. I'm planning to go back to NY23 Thursday or Friday, so please contribute to the Shoe Leather Fund.

NY23: Thanks to Newt Gingrich,
I got quoted by Think Progress!

Kind of a Rule 4 bank shot, as Ben Armbruster writes:
Conservative bloggers are now going after Gingrich for lashing out at his critics, with the Other McCain writing, "I was disgusted just now to see Newt Gingrich's appearance on Greta Van Susteren's Fox News show tonight." "Newt Gingrich disappointed national conservatives again tonight," Gateway Pundit added.
Here's the video of Newt (who taught my mother at West Georgia College circa 1973):

Guess now Armbruster will be chastised by the White House, which claims that Fox News isn't really news . . .

HOFFMANIA: CATCH IT!

Our complete coverage of the NY23 special election

NY23: Report from Ali A. Akbar

Yes, that's his real name, says the grassroots conservative who was at the First National Beef & Brew Pub next to the Doug Hoffman campaign office on Court Street in Watertown, N.Y., when I reached him by phone just now.

Ali is traveling with Eric Odom, who reports that they're "Live From NY23."

According to Ali, he and Eric "just got kicked out of Dede's office" in Watertown, which he reports is "filled with NRCC and NRC staffers."

Ali says he and I actually met at CPAC, but he was too drunk to talk and I was too busy to bother oppressing him. (Maybe next time.) Ali and Eric are staying in Lake Placid through Saturday and say they might be able to provide sleeping-bag space for other volunteers answering the call for "boots on the ground."

Watch for their coverage at 73Wire.com's Campaign Trail.

UPDATE 5 p.m.: At AmSpecBlog, I just linked Eric Odom's report about Scozzafava HQ:
Not only is the NRCC pumping hundreds of thousands of dollars into the media campaign of Dede Scozzafava, they're also organizing and coordinating teams of GOTV volunteers in the district. And they're picking up the tab.
Our team just finished meeting with a NRCC volunteer named "James" who works out of the Watertown office for the Scozzafava campaign. James informed us that he was sent to Watertown, NY from Washington D.C. as a volunteer for the NRCC. We asked about expenses, and he said the NRCC was paying for everything. . . .
Read the whole thing. Your GOP contributions supporting an ACORN-backed Big Labor RINO?

NOT ONE RED CENT!

NY23 EXCLUSIVE: Hoffman to 'hit the road' in district, will NOT attend Conservative Party dinner in Syracuse

Last night I reported that the Doug Hoffman campaign was uncertain whether the candidate would attend tonight's Conservative Party dinner in Syracuse, where Mike Huckabee will be the featured speaker.

Now my source confirms that Hoffman will not attend the Syracuse dinner.

"Doug's hitting the road" to campaign in upstate New York's 23rd District tonight, the source said.

Huckabee's praise for Hoffman last week on the Neil Cavuto show was as good as an official endorsement, the source said and, with polls showing the Conservative candidate with momentum in the three-way race, it's more important for the candidate to do as much on-the-ground campaigning with the Nov. 3 election now just a week away.

An official statement should be out soon.

UPDATE: Doug Hoffman campaign official statement:
"This is a 10 month campaign compressed into 4 weeks. Our schedule changes numerous times every day. The Conservative Party is behind us 110% and Gov. Huckabee all but endorsed us last week on FOX TV. In the last week of the campaign we are focusing on winning over as many voters as possible. So we will be on the road doing just that."
Meanwhile, we have an update from conservative bloggers in NY23: "Ali and Eric's Excellent Adventure."

Not really, Dan

by Smitty

Dan Riehl, in response to a Tim Pawlenty quote on Hot Air:
If the post-World War II period was dedicated to fighting Communism, aren't we now even more fully engaged in fighting socialism, Euro or not, here in the United States?
Socialism is merely the symptom and sales pitch. The Jacksonian Party lays out the disease: aristocracy. This is built on three pillars:
  1. 02Feb1913 Amendment 16, the Federal Government has eminent domain over your wallet.
  2. 08May1913 Amendment 17, your State has no voice
  3. 23Dec1913 The Cosmic Credit Card (which should be cut up)
As a bonus, you can blame McCulloch v. Maryland, where the "Necessary and Proper Clause" was sort of used to shoot the 10th Amendment in the face.

We can all sit around and decry Socialism on theoretical grounds. However, arguing about Socialism seems a bit like quibbling over whether to be in the left of right lane on I-10 as we go tearassin' West on I-10:

The mere presence of Foolish, Dumb-ass Requirements for federal entitlements, which even Ronald Reagan lacked the clout to reform (and I don't think anyone's accusing the Gipper of being Socialist) renders all of these discussions moot. It's not about whether the American experiment goes flying off the left coast into the Pacific. Rather, the question is when.

It may be that "we can't handle the truth." You've got clowns like Gingrich collecting their 30 pieces of silver for the soul of Conservativism. There are some really good signs right of the political middle. The internet has improved communication. Beck, Breitbart, bloggers.

But Socialism remains a bugaboo. You're already neck deep in it. Forget about controlling the flood. Let's talk about the agony involved in draining the swamp. Draining the swamp means restoring Federalism, load-shedding the three bullet points mentioned earlier, and fighting the economic war that dwarfs the global war on terror for seriousness. Large debt for a long time is sin. Call it such and let us repent.
Repentance means offering strong support to leaders who make decisions that are
  • in keeping with the spirit and letter of the Constitution
  • have the appeal of a bad hangover on an alcoholic
Because that is exactly what I'm talking here: cold turkey. We all know we need it, and we all know it will suck.

Sure, if you want to call that "fighting Socialism", go ahead. I call it "facing reality".

Girl, 15, gang-raped for two hours at California high school homecoming dance

California screaming:
A California high school student who police said was gang raped in a two-and-a-half-hour assault outside a homecoming dance remained hospitalized in stable condition Monday . . .
Nineteen-year-old Manuel Ortega, described as a former student at the school, was arrested soon after he fled the scene and will face charges of rape, robbery and kidnapping, police said.
A 15-year-old was later arrested and charged with one count of felony sexual assault. A third teenager was being interviewed, according to Lt. Mark Gagan of the police department in Richmond, California.
"Based on witness statements and suspect statements, and also physical evidence, we know that she was raped by at least four suspects committing multiple sex acts," Gagan said.
Investigators said as many as 15 people, all males, stood around watching the assault, but did not call police or help the victim, a 15-year-old student at Richmond High School in suburban San Francisco. . . .
Another argument for home-schooling, just in case there is any semi-intelligent parent (i.e., with the minimal IQ necessary to read a blog) who is still sending their children into the organized barbarism of America's dysfunctional government education system.

Lisa De Pasquale: Best. Column. Evah!

"The 23rd district of New York is a Petri dish for the future of the Republican Party. There are three candidates in the race -- Democrat Bill Owens, newly-crowned Republican Dede Scozzafava and Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman. Thanks in large part to bloggers like Erick Erickson and Robert Stacy McCain, the race has garnered national attention. In the modern media era, even the most obscure election can set the motion for a conservative comeback."
-- Lisa De Pasquale, conservative genius

Czar d'Oz Episode X: Dénouement

by Smitty



Start with the Czar d'Oz Announcement

Synopsis: In the year 2112, the characters retreated to a basement shelter to weather a monster tornado. Making an early trip to the local seat of government, they uncovered information pertaining to an experimental time machine located in Seattle. Making good their escape in the experimental TOTO vehicle, they have made it to the territory of the Southwest Czar. They've survived an encounter with two surreal characters en route Las Vegas. In Vegas they form an alliance with Jefe, the Southwest Czar, to take a short cut to the Emerald City. The trip lands them in Vancouver, Washington, slightly South of the destination. Driving North, they are greeted at the edge of Seattle with a large explosion. Saving the life of Czar d'Oz, they were given the keys to the kingdom, which they turned to their advantage.

[2121. Pike Place Market, in Seattle. A round table across the street from the original Starbucks, which forms the background. Summer. A player on ukelele is off to stage left.]

"America's my girl..."

Peter: We don't get together enough anymore. How are you guys doing?

Martin: Can't complain.

Zeda: Things just couldn't be better.

Julius: I've got something to go on about it, but let's hear from you all first. Peter: how is the election forecast? I heard our Vortex might lose some clout.

Peter: Oh, the usual. Only the candidate with the name 'Obama' seems to have any national credibility. The alternative parties seem to be a bunch of morons, overt criminals, or knuckle-dragging historical throwbacks, as always. The irony is that, for all the Obamas and the Czarocracy have held power all this time, those opposing ne'er-do-wells still manage to foil the best-planned lays of mighty mice and socialist men.

The Obama strategy seems to be (a) Fear the Army of Strawmen, and (b) re-conquer them every election. We've got a few new ploys to make the Flyover Czar and the Northeast Czar look more stupid than usual. And we just broke up another plot to infiltrate the social networking system, like those two Czars did last mid-term.

Julius: Yeah, but the legerdemain is so much more tolerable if you just join the Vortex and participate therein, as we've discovered, haven't we?

Martin: Yep. [Flexing limbs.] Got an iron fist on the supply chain. Staying in spare parts is a breeze. It's tedious, though. I keep having to explain 'fair' for the new meat. After a while, they figure out 'fair' is whatever works for me. They quit asking. Then they start working to arrange stuff. They figure out 'fair' can support them, too. Just as long as it supports me in the end. The chain of command is a beautiful thing. Once everyone is onboard. Eternals are Eternals, Brutals are Brutals. You try to leave the routes open for them to move up. Like we did. But mostly the Brutals are content.

Julius: Sweet, sweet patronage. It's what made Rome great, and it's the glue holding America together. Zeda: how is the acting career going?

Zeda: I'm enjoying it. Getting the scripts past the censors is tough sometimes--

Peter: Sorry to hear that. Are any of them getting too uppity? I can have them re-assigned to voter registration or some other task that will have them dealing with Brutals. That usually helps them be less full of themselves.

Of course, you do understand the need to keep the Brutals pacified, don't you? It's a delicate balance, making sure we hold what we've got. The less clever must be trained to buy into the various "justice" and "rights" myths that we perpetuate, while that entitlement choke-chain stays just loose enough.

Zeda: Yeah, sometimes I want to just do a classic work, like an Oedipus Rex or a Waiting for Godot without having it turned into a variation on the theme of "Beelze-Bush the Anti-Obama", or "opposing the Obamas is racism", or "America the guilty-ful".

Peter: Is there still room for artistic expression while remaining loyal to the group of 17 Eternal Czars?

Zeda: Oh, sure. Let's not look the gift whores in the mouths. Things could be so much worse. I'm just wondering if things couldn't be better if the outcome of all the novels and movies wasn't always predictable.

"...but she has lost her way..."

Julius: An interesting thought. What I wanted to tell you guys about is a cache of history books I found at a dacha in the Cascades. No more detail than that, lest there be repreisals against the original owner. Which should clue you that I'm only telling you this in the strictest confidence--we could lose everything if word gets out.

The thing is that American history is like a parabola. Freedom increased from the Revolutionary War to the Federal Reserve Act. By then, the US government had diminshed the power of the 50 States via income tax and direct election of Senators. Once they had their own bankers, the American aristocracy could germinate. It rose like bread on a yeast of debt and globalization.
The Tea Party movement of the first Obama administration was the last gasp of the original, independent American spirit. However, the neo-aristocrats had such a grip on the media that no amount of exposed scandal could shake their grip.

Too, the knowledge that the amount of debt was so staggering, the pain of facing the decades of systematic larceny, made the glib words and cheap assignments of blame very easy to accept.
Like Israelites in a desert of debt without a Moses, it was easy for the American people to reject freedom, to scuttle the rigors of preparing for a promised land, and to return to the predictable comfort and occasional whip of their overlord of old.

So that parabola of freedom peaked about 100 years ago. We came here from Topeka those years ago to try to escape this modern American debt slavery. The cache of books I found has writings from as late as 20 years ago discussing the efforts around the country to build a network of people dedicated to the spirit of the Founding Fathers, not the neo-aristocratic people who followed them. Are you interested in taking on some risk? Some adventure? Some action to resurrect the ideals upon which this country was founded, not this horrible, decadent Vortex of progressivism?

Peter: I've always felt that change must occur within the system through evolution, not revolution.

Martin: My oath is to support and defend the Constitution. That has been amended to include all of the writings and speeches of Barack Hussein Obama. Maybe you can show that the whole thing isn't working. But I doubt it.

Zeda: Look. I've made it big. I don't feel that guilty about it. And if I do feel guilty, I do an ad supporting the Obamas.

Julius: It was an idea. As adventurous as our road trip in TOTO those years ago. Forget I said anything. Are we allowed to ask how things worked out between you and Barry Cuda?

Zeda: No, but obviously you want more than that. Let's say that he was a slow thinker, in terms of that old lyric by that forgotten local band Heart: "If the real thing don't do the trick / You better think of something quick." Politicians: can't live *with* them, and the more kinetic alternatives will land you in jail.

"...so hear me now lament."

[The ukelele player at stage left picks up a lilting, sad little waltz tune and croons:]

America's my girl,
  but she has lost her way,
    so hear me now lament.

She only wants to play,
  to primp and toss and twirl,
    though all the cash is spent.

For all the wise would say,
  "You've got to pay the rent,
    before the hair you curl,"

To slavery she's bent,
  on sugar daddy day,
    though he be a squirrel.

That foolish element,
  the pig's snout with a pearl,
    still prattles on so gay.

What if she gave a whirl,
  and tried to leave a dent,
    by offering a NAY?

Let freedom's flag unfurl,
  facing fascist flambé,
    becoming confident.

Copyright 2009, Christopher L. Smith

NY23: Hoffman's NY Post endorsement
Also: The GOP's Mondello Syndrome

Hat tip to Da Tech Guy for this one, with a succinct summary of the New York GOP's problem:
Scozzafava is the hand-picked candidate of former state GOP chairman Joseph Mondello.
Mondello had the magical ability to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory. Sort of an anti-Midas: Everything he touched turned to crap. Back in August, just before he was forced out of the chairmanship, the Democrats issued a sarcastic statement:
Democrats say they like Mondello' ability to lose state races, including the recent loss of an open congressional seat in the Albany area. Mondello backed Republican Jim Tedisco' failed candidacy.
"The recent chorus of Republican officials calling for Joe Mondello to step down as State GOP chair is disappointing and a step backwards for New York," said Shams Tarek, DSCC spokesman.
"With the New York GOP' recent loss of both the State Senate and the overwhelmingly Republican 20th Congressional District to Democrats, we couldn’t be more pleased with Chair Mondello's work."
"For the benefit of a population completely fed up with years of GOP cynicism and dysfunction in both Washington and Albany, Chair Mondello should remain in place and continue to remove Republicans from office in New York."
Everybody can recognize Mondello as that Peter Principle type of guy, the flawed mediocrity with a glory-hog tendency to take credit for other people's success, so that he keeps getting promoted until, at last, he's in charge of the whole shebang and then -- disaster!

You need to talk to New York conservatives about the Tedisco debacle in the 20th District, if you want to understand how tone-deaf GOP Establishment types like Mondello -- a tool of the old D'Amato Long Island machine -- have bungled away their opportunities and alienated the Republican grassroots.

It's all a backroom old-boys-network. A decade ago, the state GOP chairman hand-picked John Sweeney for the 20th District. A state party staff lawyer, Sweeney subsequently established a reputation as a drunken, corrupt womanizer -- NTTAWWT, in the view of the sold-out GOP hacks who supported him -- and went down in flames in 2006.

Mondello repeated that blunder by picking the clueless Tedisco for the 20th District this year, which one New York blogger summed up this way:
Few party activists are aware that Joe Mondello made the surprising decision to personally chair the meeting in which Jim Tedisco was selected to run for the vacant seat previously held by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. The move was unprecedented, as nowhere in the state election law or the state committee bylaws was the involvement of the state party mandated. . . .
Observers inside and outside the 20th Congressional district have reached a rare consensus about the ghastly display that was witnessed in the election. The Wall Street Journal summed it up neatly: "Republicans lost because they fielded a poor candidate who ran a lousy campaign."
People keep claiming the GOP loses elections by being "too conservative," but that misses the point. The basic problem is this old-boy network way of running campaigns -- the favor-swapping, back-scratching, let's-give-my-college-roommate-a-consulting-contract modus operandi -- that leads to tactical incompetence in the Republican electoral apparatus.

You could write a 50,000-word book and call it The Encyclopedia of Republican Stupidity, Volume One. Maybe 20 volumes would suffice to sketch the outline of what's wrong with a party which managed to fumble away, inter alia, the George Allen 2006 Senate campaign because Dick Wadhams didn't understand Virginia politics.

UPDATE 11:32 a.m.: New poll confirms the Scozzafava meltdown.

NY23: New York Times finally notices there's a congressional election upstate

Their staff writer Jeremy Peters discovers how difficult it is to summarize this thing in 1,100 words:

The conservatives who oppose Ms. Scozzafava have attacked her as they would a Democrat. They have tried linking her to Acorn because of her relationship with the Acorn-affiliated Working Families Party, and they have called her the candidate of big labor because of her endorsement from the New York State United Teachers Union.
The attacks have at times rattled the Scozzafava campaign. Last week, the campaign called the police after a reporter from The Weekly Standard, the conservative magazine, continued to press Ms. Scozzafava to answer questions after she declined to comment. Afterward, Ms. Scozzafava was mocked relentlessly in the conservative blogosphere. . . .
You can read the whole thing, but the most interesting part to me was this:

"The No. 1 victory will be to defeat Dede," said Marjorie Dannenfelser, president of the Susan B. Anthony List, which works to elect candidates who oppose abortion.
Ms. Dannenfelser, along with members of the National Organization for Marriage, which opposes efforts to legalize same-sex marriage, are helping to coordinate efforts on the ground in support of Mr. Hoffman.
At the Days Inn on Sunday, Ms. Dannenfelser, 43, of Arlington, Va., and three other organizers from the Washington area who have temporarily relocated to Watertown joined a conference call with conservatives from across the country. A small picture of Jesus and the Virgin Mary rested on top of the television, while the Pittsburgh Steelers game played with the volume muted. . . .
Very interesting that the New York Times guy got the inside tour of this pro-life HQ in Watertown, but none of my Hoffman campaign sources even mentioned it to me. (Note to self: Chew sources a new one.)

All along, I've figured that a big key for Hoffman would be the Catholic vote in this district. A lot of pro-life Catholics didn't trust John McCain (Episcopalian, IYKWIMAITYD).

Obama got support from some of those "social justice"-type Catholics who spend too much time reading Rerum Novarum. Now that the Obama/Pelosi/Reid axis has shown its true colors, there's a backlash.

Because of the GOP/Conservative split in NY23, this special election really isolates the bedrock conservatives. And I mean "isolate" in the scientific sense, as a chemist would isolate an element, separating it from a mixture. Separated from the Republican herd, Hoffman supporters constitute a profile of the grassroots conservative base: Lot of military veterans, Catholic laymen, small business people, technicians, grandparents worried about the debt that's being heaped on the next generation.

Oh, but you can't tell a story like this in 1,100 words!

UPDATE: Janet Hook of the L.A. Times takes her turn with 1,200 words and misses the point:

McHugh had been easily reelected in the district by wide margins, and Scozzafava's backers say a conservative like Hoffman does not fit the district.
"Her positions on a lot of issues are reflective of the electorate here," said Matt Burns, a Scozzafava spokesman. "If the idea is that every Republican that runs for office needs [to be] someone who fits in Georgia, then it's going to be very, very difficult for Republicans to gain a majority in the House of Representatives."
There's not much evidence from this story that the L.A. Times reporter, who filed under a D.C. dateline, has spent any significant time in the 23rd District.

It's a region of small towns. It has far more in common with rural north Georgia, in terms of culture and economics, than than the Scozzafava's team would have you believe. There are more Catholics than Baptists, but that's really the only major difference. Fort Drum is in the district, and you have a significant military/patriotic element up there.

Even the district's 52% vote for Obama in 2008 is deceptive. As one source pointed out to me, there are several colleges and universities in the 23rd District; Obama no doubt got thousands of his votes from liberal student-activist types who are unlikely to pay much attention to a special congressional election.

Like I said before: Don't believe the MSM.

HOFFMANIA: CATCH IT!

Our complete coverage of the NY23 special election

NY23: Iowahawk Endorsement

by Smitty

Iowahawk's endorsement would seem to be the '55 Chevy dusting the competition off the road at high speed, cruising Hoffman on towards a solid victory.

May the competition fare as well as my entry into the Steel Cage Art Death Match, my crushing loss in which has not left me bitter. Not me. No way. Uh-uh. Jerk.

STOP BUMMING ME OUT, MAN!

Excuse the all-caps shouting, but I just about blew a gasket tonight. I'm now past the 14-hour mark, I got scooped on the NY23 beat twice today -- on the Club for Growth poll and the Pawlenty endorsement -- and spent a lot of time on the phone this evening with my Hoffman sources.

Let me briefly explain the situation up in the 23rd District: Hoffman's got a relatively small paid staff and he's campaigning as a third-party candidate against both the Republicans and Democrats, in the largest geographical congressional district east of the Mississippi River. It ain't a walk in the park up there, OK?

While I generally have a low opinion of Republican campaign staffers -- who tend to treat reporters like crap -- these guys on Hoffman's team have my sympathy. They're spread thin, and working like hell all the time. They must be ordering Red Bull by the case.

Today was absolutely crazy for them, with news breaking faster than anybody could possibly keep up, new ads being produced, a new Democratic TV attack ad airing in the district, etc., etc.

Crazy for them, and crazy for me, too. So then, just after I posted the Fred Thompson ad video, I flip over to Instapundit and see him saying this:
Hoffman's kind of a special case. There's basically no downside. That's not true in 2010. I remember a blog commenter somewhere a while back worrying that Beck would turn out to be a Pied Piper leading people to Third Party self-destruction. In Hoffman’s case that's not really an issue, but a Perot-type candidacy might put the Dems back in bigtime.
And he's writing this irrelevant crap about third parties and 2010 while linking Allahpundit:
What is the endgame? There's a sense I get from watching Beck that he thinks there's a supermajority out there willing to return to Founders-style libertarianism if only he and other conservatives hammer the message hard and long enough. I don't think there is.
Well, f*ck what you think, Allah. We're talking about one congressional election that's now only a week away, and all your forward-looking "Big Picture" theorizing is just a distraction from the fight.

Today, I had the same reaction when I found a couple of commenters squabbling about Hoffman's position on immigration. Here's the thing: What's the deluxe enchilada plate we're looking at now? ObamaCare.

If that passes, we're doomed. Period. Good-bye, US of A. Hello, Sweden.

Doug Hoffman is a sworn opponent of ObamaCare. If a guy like that wins, in an underdog third-party bid where nobody gave him a snowball's chance two weeks ago, what's the message?

The message is that Democrats had better watch out in 2010. If a guy like Hoffman can win in a district that went 52% for Obama less than a year ago, it will be like a flare shot skyward from a ship on a moonless midnight. Add in a victory for Bob McDonnell in Virginia (which also went for Obama last year) and any Democratic senator or congressman with half a brain is going to start thinking, "Ruh-roh. This kinda looks like 1994 all over again."

If Hoffman can pull off a miracle upset victory in NY23, it would be a shot across the bow of Obama, Pelosi and Reid that they won't be able to ignore.

The Blue Dogs will freak out, and the RINOs will start wondering about the possibility of a Tea Party/Club for Growth/Sarah Palin convergence in their GOP primaries. They'll find an excuse to pull the plug on ObamaCare and start looking for opportunities to denounce deficit spending. Heck, you might even see some of them work up the gumption to suggest a vote to extend the Bush tax cuts.

All of this is possible, if Hoffman wins. But a Hoffman win isn't a random hypothetical we can postulate and discuss like we were in some damned poli-sci grad-school seminar. The battle for NY23 is the kind of desperate tooth-and-nail fight that doesn't lend itself to dispassionate theoretical discourse.

At such a time as this, to waste pixels pondering ridiculous fourth-bong-hit-in-the-dorm-room questions -- "Hey, wow, wouldn't a third party be cool?" -- is such a complete waste of time, it's almost a complete waste of time explaining what a waste of time it is.

You're bumming me out, man. Honest to God, you guys are bumming me out.

Monday, October 26, 2009