Tuesday, October 13, 2009

GQ, January Jones and Big Fake Boobs

GQ magazine recently published its list of Most Powerful People in D.C. This stupid list includes neither me nor Smitty, which shows how much those idiots know. Patrick Gavin reports that WH sockpuppet Robert Gibbs also didn't make the list:
So why didn't Gibbs make the cut?
"It wasn't anything personal at all, says GQ's Raha Naddaf. "He's obviously a very powerful man."
But not so powerful, apparently, as restaurateur Ashok Bajaj, who clocks in at No. 47.
Even without Gibbs, there's no shortage of White House heavyweights: Chief of staff Rahm Emanuel takes the list’s top spot, because "He knows procedure, he's ruthlessly pragmatic about what is politically achievable, and he knows how and when to twist arms and call in the many favors he’s owed." . . .
Also from Team Obama: Peter Orszag (#5), David Axelrod (#6), Timothy Geithner (#7), Larry Summers (#7), Eric Holder (#13), Valerie Jarrett, (#16), Jon Favreau (#33), Reggie Love (#38) and Desiree Rogers (#40).
Gone are many Bushies that graced the 2007 – Condi Rice, Karl Rove, Josh Bolten, Ed Gillespie and Michael Chertoff. . . .
Among the repeats: Harry Reid (down to #15 from #2), Robert Gates (up to #2 from #3), Nancy Pelosi (down to #8 from #5), PhRMA CEO Bill Tauzin (down to #12 from #6), Hillary Clinton (down to #18 from #8), Rep. Henry Waxman (up to #11 from #18), Center for American Progress' Jon Podesta (down to #26 from #22), Ben Bernanke (up to #3 from #23) and strategist Steve Elmendorf (up to #32 from #33).
Yada yada yada. Exactly who is this Raha Naddaf person who is in charge of the GQ list? She's like 28 years old and never even been to Taco Night at the Press Club, IYKWIMAITYD.

Meanwhile, however, GQ features photos of January Jones and her boobs, which look fake to me:

Click for the close-up and if you can't spot the telltale evidence of surgical augmentation (or you're one of those weirdos who is into fake boobage) there's no point in further discussion. However, as Pop Sugar mentions, there's an actual interview with Miss Jones:
"I hung out with dudes in high school. We were the hippies -- into the Dead, Zeppelin, Phish. I was a lifeguard at the water park, and I remember the day Jerry died. Over the loudspeaker, it said: 'Jerry Garcia has died. Everybody meet in the parking lot.' I probably shouldn’t say that -- we were saving lives! But that was definitely a sit-in-the-chair-with-sunglasses afternoon."
With apologies to Ann Coulter (also a Deadhead), I'm sorry: The Grateful Dead suck. I did a lot of dope back in the day, but never once achieved such a brainless stupor as to enjoy those no-talent losers.

But some people like them, just like some people like big fake boobs and some people give a damn about Raha Naddaf's opinions. It's a free country, and it's not my fault you're a moron.

(Hat tips: Memeorandum and WeSmirch.)


  1. Your shameless self promotion of your site with January Jones' likeness is just, just...

    just fine!

    She makes me almost want to take up smoking. Because she is smokin' hot.

  2. "The Grateful Dead suck"

    Wow. Here people are accusing you of being a raaaaacist, when the real dirty secret is that you're either a blasphemer or an exceptionally poor judge of musical talent.

  3. I would have been drowning a lot.

  4. 1) What did the Grateful Dead fan say when the pot ran out?

    'Man, this music sucks.'

    2) The kind of guys that are into pneumatic ta-ta's are the kind of guys who dig broads who look like fourteen-year-old boys from the waist down.

  5. She also read Ayn Rand while mdeling and -- though GQ doesn't mention it -- likes hunting.

    BTW, Mad Men's Matt Weiner is fairly obsessive about not casting people who have had plastic surgery (to stay true to the period), so you're likely looking at Photoshop.

  6. Concur, The Dead suck. So do Phish.

  7. You can't really tell fake boobs from the genuine article unless you actually see some jiggle while the subject is in motion. Next time, use UTUBE.

  8. Nothing.

    K~Bob said...

    Johnny Carson did a gag as "Karnak" where the answer was:

    "When Grateful Dead begins to sound terrible"

    The question in the envelope was:

    "How do you tell when the drugs are wearing off?"

    I always hate listening to supposedly pro musicians who sing out of tune. With very few exceptions, the Dead's vocalists always had a guy singing out of tune. Like fingernails on the blackboard. Only fingernails on the blackboard aren't as irritating. Even when I was a partying young musician, I couldn't get wasted enough to put up with that noise.

  9. I vote for Photoshop. The top of her breasts don't match the bottom in shape, colour, or tone. Moreover, if you look at some of the other photos in the slide show, you see that she has a much smaller (although still respectable) chest in those pictures.

    Then again, I'm a girl and have seen far fewer breasts than all you men, so take my assessment with a grain of salt. :)

  10. Roxanne, I submit that you probably see a nice pair of breasts at least once a day, which is more than I can say for most of denizens of the political Internet.

  11. Fake!?! Did you actuallly look at the photos where she's lying down? Bolt-ons don't flatten out when horizontal.

    Those are real...and they're spectaular.